Only two weeks left here in Gabon and I am still seeing new parts and aspects of Africa every day. First off (just so I don't end the post on a melancholy note) I'm going to start out by doing a little "end of the journey" shpeel now. I've decided that I do not want to further depress myself when leaving by most likely crying all over my computer my last night in Gabon while typing up a "I'm leaving" post (yes Mom, I know that was an atrociously long sentence). Truth is, I'm going to miss it here, as can be expected of anyone with similar experiences. I've not only experienced living in a community of family in Christ (missionaries, Gabonese, my housemates) but I have gotten to also live day-to-day life in another culture. I have experience the family of Christ (and the love that should be present in that family) with people used to a way of life so different from mine. But oh how I love so many aspects of their way of life! Time isn't pressing, dancing in church is normal, sitting after dinner and singing together...

But! There are so many reasons that I should be filled with joy as I leave this place and go back to the States. One, I have been so blessed and been given so much love from being here. And yes, I may be leaving that but I do know that if God ever calls me back to Gabon that love will still be here! Secondly, I have so many adventures ahead of me this year and in the years to come. My Lord has shown me so many times that He has His hand in my life, instigating, guiding, initiating, holding. And not to mention just getting to go back to Colorado to see my wonderful family, great friends, grandparents, not to mention drinking my first cup of milk in 3 and a half months...

As I write that, though, I think about my past week, which has been full of experiences with children. Last Saturday morning I went with Shannon, Leanne, and Sam Straw to Hope House for a few hours. Mama Nathalie (their "Mama") had us cut up loaves of bread and butter them, as it was early and the kids hadn't had breakfast yet. We also made them "cafe", which sounds yum but is really just Nido (powdered milk) with hot water and sugar cubes. As Hannah says, we here at the Envision center, "Treat Nido like dirt!" but to these children it is a wonderful treat. (So I'll just stick with regular milk and let them have the Nido--more for them!).



Today for church we went to Avea I, the church where the Hope House Papa, Pastor Israel, is the senior pastor. As we walked up to the church all of our Hope House kids came pouring out of the door, smothering us in hugs, their smiles big enough to melt hearts of ice. I think to myself, "Why do they love us so much?? All we do is play clapping games with them, give them crayons and paper, and twirl them around in circles." The level of contentment that these children have just astounds me. And I realize that spending hours playing with them is such a blessing to me. I can't even understand what they say to me, but I see so much in their eyes. I see joy, pain, love, rejection, fear...have you ever stopped to really look into someone's eyes? And not necessarily when they are looking into yours, but at a moment when they don't realize anyone is observing them. I think you can see a whole other level, something so deeper than the surface.

"The eyes indicate the antiquity of the soul." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Yesterday our house team split up into two groups--the new interns, Robert and Reinette, went with Shannon to Hope House while Leanne, Hannah, and I went to a medical clinic conference thing for children. I'm not really sure what to call it because I'm not really sure what it was...and I don't even want to try and explain what I think was going on or who was involved or what was happening--big picture-wise, that is. What the three of us ended up doing was getting in a car with one of the pastors and driving to an orphanage in a part of LBV I hadn't been to before. Judging from a little table in a corner with candles, flowers, and a statue of Mary (the mother of Jesus) I am guessing it is a Catholic orphanage. Several other pastors and workers from the clinic had come in other cars, one of which was full of boxes and bags of food. We unloaded about 1/3 of the food and piled it in the main room of the orphanage. For about 20 minutes we prayed, the pastors spoke, took pictures, and the children sang a song for us. Then we all piled back into our cars and started driving to another orphanage! Up until that point, though, I didn't realize exactly what we were doing. So it turns out that we visited 3 orphanages, giving them food, words of encouragement, spending a little time with the kids...what was really cool was that every orphanage was different from the other.

Et Jesus dit: "Laissez les petits enfants, et ne les empechez pas de venir a moi; car le royaume des cieux est pour ceux qui leur ressemblent. - Matthieu 19:14

The second orphanage we visited was located in a little community area that ran along a long, dirt road. We parked our cars on a main road and had to carry everything down this hill to the house, which was located at the bottom of this big, long hill. All of the children were sitting out on a porch in front of the house, and I noticed that a majority of these kids were under the age of 10. There were also two wheel-chairs on the porch, each holding a child with either a mental or physical disability. One of them was a little girl who's body was deformed and crippled, her head abnormally large, but her smile and eyes (yes, eyes again) were...precious. If an angel had the face of a child, it would have hers. We followed the same procedure at that place but with a bit more interaction with the children. As we prepared to leave, one little girl shyly tapped my leg and asked (in French), "Can I touch your hair?" She then lightly stroked just few hairs on my forehead. Three months ago did I imagine that a little African girl would ask to touch my hair??

Could you imagine a little African girl asking to touch your hair?

The third orphanage we went to was government-run and more like a boarding school/compound than the homes where the other two (as well as Hope House) were. We also learned that this is more of a traditional orphanage where they try to find homes for the children, as opposed to shelter where most of the kids live permanently (again, like Hope House). Again, the same presentation except no children were present...I guess they were all in school? I'm not really sure, but it was a big compound so they might have all been in one of the buildings. At that point there were only 20 kids at the center, I believe.

I love kids. Sometimes kids even love me. Hey, I even had someone here speak a word of prophecy over me that I will be working with children in the future (awesome!! does that vision include cute little African kids or...?). I just want to know, how can little people so innocent and precious squeeze your heart tight with feelings of helplessness, inadequacy, and selfishness? I buttered bread for 30 kids, the same breakfast they get every day, only hours after complaining of having nothing in the house to eat...besides yogurt. And granola. And eggs. And who knows what else. I have stood in front of my closet here and gotten frustrated that I have worn and re-worn every piece of clothing that I brought with me, while I think I have only ever seen some of these children in one or two different outfits. Yet beyond material guilts like this, these children...their hugs, little gifts of plastic flowers, their desire to just sit next to you--all of this puts my ability to express love to shame. I realize how tightly and closely I guard my heart to spare myself pain. Yet I feel little Grace's hand hold tightly onto mine, or sweet Josue squeeze me in a tight hug, propelling themselves into a deep infatuation with their American "playmates", all the while knowing that at some point we will pack up. We'll get on an airplane and fly away, maybe never coming back. So many teams, interns, and missionaries have done so over the years. Yet they still love us. And you remember when I talked about being so blessed by their love? If they held it back, stayed in the corner, reservedly accepted our gifts, offered their hands instead of their hugs, then I would never have any reason to tear up from an overflowing heart!



God has commanded us to enter the Kingdom of Heaven like little children. So I ask myself, how can I truly be like a little child? Perhaps I could start off by loving like one. Not being afraid to love, to offer a hug, to jump into someone's arms. Even if I only spend 3 months with that person, loving them like Jesus loves me if anything could be more of a blessing to them than a pain to my own heart.

Does that make any sense?

I don't mean to be preachy, or to make anyone feel guilty. I deal with a touchy subject...one that I think every person just has to wrestle with themselves. With open hearts to what God wants to teach us...through His word, through others, through our experiences, I think we can learn so much. So look at the eyes, take time to just sit and think...

Happy Mother's day :)

Olivia

So I started writing up a post in the middle of the week, fully intending to finish it up the next day, but it just never happened. Dern, the opening paragraph was so awesome, too.

First off, our new intern, Shannon, is here! She has now been here for one week and four days (and will be leaving in five weeks). We are rooming together on the first floor of the house (SUPER AWESOME element is that we have a bathroom in our room!!) and have had lots of fun getting to know each other! I don't know why, but sharing a room with a stranger in 100 degree weather, sweating like a pig, falling over exhausted at night...plus add in a few silly midnight convos (after chocolate dessert) makes rooming fun!

This past week we had a team from Fellowship Alliance Church come out for seven days. Let me tell you, spending a week with 12 oldish men (not old, but all married fathers) is a blast! Not only were these men willing to let God work on their hearts, but they were hard workers (even when it came to washing dishes), flexible with the schedule, embracing of the Gabonese, interested in getting to know the staff here, and humble enough to ask questions. It was awesome to see God change a group of people's hearts and minds in seven days.

So some of the guys on the team spent a lot of the week working (construction-wise) on the guest house (in process) at CFTAC (the CMA headquarters). A few of the men are medical professionals and spent most of their days doing consultations at the clinics (OSPAC and Snee). I loved experiencing all the things we did with the team, but one of the most enriching experiences for me personally was getting to sit in on the consultations. For one, what these men were doing is potentially what I could be doing someday in terms of healthcare in third-world countries. What made the experience even cooler is that both Brian (a physician's assistant) and Dr. Mike would explain cases, medicines, etc. etc. to me and others sitting in the consultation (oh yeah, have I mentioned there is not such thing as HIPPA here?).

Ok, crazy story. On one of the medical days...I think Tuesday, I was working in the morning at OSPAC with Brian and Tim (used to run Envision center, grew up in Gabon, speaks fluent French...aka translator). We were extremely backed up with patients by 1 in the afternoon (oh yeah, they announced at the two biggest CMA churches in LBV that there were American doctors in town and where you could find them during the week) so Dr. Mike came over from Snee to help us get all of the patient seen. But with Tim in translating for Brian, the only person Dr. Mike had for translation was Pastor Jacob (of Nzeng Ayong church). Pastor Jacob (the most amazing man in the world, btw!!) speaks a little English, but not enough to do full medical translations. So I was sent in to sit in on Dr. Mike's consultations and for the next two hours worked with Pastor Jacob to translate!! Let's just say that the experience was...insane. And draining. And awesome. I have never been so aware of how crappy my French is, how important it is to me to learn it, and how thankful I am that God had me take a semester of French before I came here. Yeah, I don't speak very well, but I was literally able to help translate a doctor's crazy medical talk to the patient and the patient's stories and questions to the doc. !!!

So yes, excitement, but it only happened once. After that afternoon I told Hannah that she should do the translation for the rest of the medical days, just because she speaks better than I do and the process would move along faster. On Thursday OSPAC had a mobile clinic to a village about an hour's drive east of Libreville. We saw about forty patients, mostly elderly, with all sorts of ailments ranging from cancer to malaria to eye problems. On Friday we spent a chunk of the day putting up concrete posts in the jungle (the region is called PK 27). The four corner posts mark out the property that the CMA church has purchased and, way into the future, will be a compound where pastors will live, the Hope House will move to, probably some medical stuff...all sorts of awesome things for the future of CMA Gabon. Yes, it was probably the hottest day of the week and a few of our guys probably verged on getting heat strokes, but it was so cool to lay down the beginnings of this huge project!

I wish I could tell ya'll about everything that happened, all the memories, but my wrists hurt and I realize that some of these memories are just going to have to be precious to me and the people I've shared them with.

I promise to write again this week, God is doing so much in Gabon and in my life and I just want the world to know how amazing He is!! Thanks to everyone for your prayers and support. Even though I can't express it very well, I am truly, truly thankful.

Love in a glove,
Olivia

The fruit here is delicious!

You're a little wary... "Didn't we buy that pineapple off the side of the road?" There it was, sitting with a few other fruits on a rickety wooden table. Cars leave behind thick trails of exhaust as they drive by, dirt is kicked up by the hundreds of feet shuffling past, and when was the last time the vendor washed her hands? But once it is all cut up into chunks, dripping juice, right on the table in front of you...of course you have to try it. So pick up a little piece and throw it in your mouth...wow. Fresh fruit taken to a whole new level. Why is the fruit in Gabon yummier than in the States??


So there was a bit of a new development with French class and now we're only doing class on Wednesday and Saturday afternoons. This is probably a big blessing since on Wednesday things are going to start to get busy! We get a new intern, Shannon, who will be my roomie for six weeks. Then on Saturday a team is coming in until April 9. Shortly after that we get a few other visitors, some of which will go with us to Bongolo when we move down the Lewans. So yeah...lots of changes, lots going on!

This past week has been fun. I wish I could remember all that happened...the days are starting to blur together! There were several clinic days, which are in and of themselves a French lesson! Because I write down the patient's information in a log book I am learning all of the neighborhoods here in Libreville (which are not easy to spell!). I got to watch a few injections and today a girl came in with a split-open leg to be cleaned and bandaged.

On Friday afternoon I went with Mama Jeanine and Mama Josephine to a woman's conference. The conference lasted for 3 days, hosting hundreds of women from all over Gabon. They did evangelism, prayer, praise, planning...I only got to go for a few hours but it was so fun to worship with hundreds of women passionate about the Kingdom of God!

The president of Turkey was here for a few days this week...magical cleaning and beautifying fairies worked their magic on certain areas of the city to prepare for his arrival.

Let me just say, remembering names and faces (especially of people I only bet briefly) is not my strong suit. Which can be a problem in a group-oriented society where everyone remembers you. Haha, sometimes people you never even actually met know who you are.

Oh, and just a quick college update! Unless God puts a major roadblock in the way, I think that in the fall I'll be a Nyack College student! In so many ways the Lord has provided for my freshman year of college and I feel quite at peace about the school choice. Funnily enough, this was something that was really stressing me out a few weeks ago...

If you ever think of it, could you pray that God would help me to have a humble heart? I need to remember that none of this is about me.

Until we meet again,
Olivia

bonjour mes amis :)

well, today was momentous (not entirely sure what the definition of this word is but I think I am using it in the correct context). Today for the first time since being here I wore pants! Last night I tossed and turned in bed, trying to fall asleep in the heat (although, to be honest, it wasn't the heat that kept me up...I had a delicious Magnum bar [chocolate + caramel + ice cream] a few hours before bed). Then this morning, early early, I heard loud thunder and pelting rain and pulled my sheet over my chilly legs! Today in French class I even had to rub my arms a few times to chase away the goose bumps. So it has been a chilly day and I love it. *heart*

We have started a new week of French. Last week there were no classes because Dan and Alicia were in Bongolo. But at the end of the week, our instructor (Pito) sent everyone an e-mail saying that he got another job in a different city and is leaving us--tomorrow! Thankfully he knows another man who has taught English with the Peace Corps like he (Pito) did, and Jean-Jacque took over today. He has a different teaching approach from Pito--he speaks entirely in French all throughout the class, where as Pito would explain things to us in English. Part of me is glad that he is pushing us and that this way we are even more exposed to hearing French, but part of my brain also screams, "Pleeeease, give me a break from French!" Still, I want to learn the language so I will embrace this challenge! Every day I pray, "God, please let me understand what You what me to know, say what You want me to say, and glorify You in every way!" But I do pray for all of us to have a new and fresh understanding of this language.


This is a picture of a woman, Christine, who came into the clinic last week. She has a large tumor on her neck that is even more extensive inside her body. She desperately needs to travel to Bongolo Hospital to have it removed but she does not have enough money to afford the trip. Please, please pray for a miracle and that God will provide for her.

I am very thankful for God's provision and that He continues to teach me things about Him and life in general. Oh if there was a word that expressed His goodness, it would be the most beautiful word.

love from Libreville,
Olivia

Jungle Junkies!

After four days in the jungle I got a little too used to not having to inhale pollution-filled air every time I was outside. I tried to sit out on our deck today (we're back in Libreville) to have some Bible time but after five or so minutes my head was a little groggy. My lungs are definitely suffering here in the city.

So pretty much, I LOVE Bongolo. Not just the hospital itself, but the surrounding villages, jungles, river...just the atmosphere in general. In a small way it reminded me of Rainforest Cafe...that's really all I know to compare it to. The forest is so dense that you cannot see within a foot into it, and I found myself regarding the green mass as a whole new world of adventure and danger. I asked several people if hiking through the forest had ever been attempted, and I discovered that Gabonese people do forest farming of some sort. However, if someone ventures into the forest they must take a machete (for snakes and things...obviously). Maybe on our next trip to Bonogolo I can take a bit of a jungle hike (more on that to come).

Before I get started on the account of our little trip to the country, I will give a disclaimer that there is so much I want to tell. In order to break up the story some I am trying to upload pics, so if you see them in the post then it worked! So now I'll start from the beginning and we'll see where this story takes us!

I don't think that I fully realized that I am actually in Africa until we were driving down a bumpy dirt road that was lined with lush, green jungle. Living in an African city is quite a unique experience, to say the least, but the Africa I always dreamed of was, let's face it, the jungles and country. And when we were in the "thick" of it was when I was filled with the wonder of my location.

We arrived at the Bongolo Envision center late Thursday afternoon. Maryann and her husband, Dennis, have been living and working at the center for six months and are taking off back to the states in about a week. Mid-April Dan and Alicia move into the center to host teams and visitors (they'll be there for about a year). Anyways, Maryann is an amazing cook, as we discovered that evening at dinner time. It was so nice to have a few days of eating amazing food (especially the breakfasts with coffee!)...yes, I do love food enough to write several sentences about it.

From Gabon!!

Thursday morning I walked down the hill to the hospital to get a tour, which was given by Lisa. Lisa is one of the four American nurses at the hospital (the rest are Africans). The hospital is pretty much comprised of several buildings that are arranged in a circle-ish layout around a grassy area. There, for example, is a building with dentistry, a surgical building, maternity, eyes, pediatrics, and HIV/TB along with several other buildings with specific "roles".


After the tour, Lisa let me follow her around and observe her complete some of her tasks. I got to meet some patients, watch the nursing students do some *unpleasant* tasks (almost passed out),pray for Roger (a man who had had an eye surgery) and just got a feel for how things work at Bongolo. Two things that struck me as amazing/different from other hospitals: God is literally being glorified all the time by the staff and many of the patients, and I could take pictures of all sorts of things! (click on the pictures in this post to go to the album).

From Gabon!!

At the end of the morning I observed one of Lisa's classes with her 10 or so nursing students. As I walked into the classroom, pictoral comparisons between this room and classrooms I've been flooded into my mind. These students sit on wooden benches for their class, there is no air conditioning or fans, and the teacher has a single black board at her disposal. (FYI, the four American nurses split up the classes between themselves to teach). The session was for questions and answers, so it was only about half an hour long. At the end of the class Lisa introduced me to the students and they asked me some interesting questions. One was, "How do your parents feel about you going into this type of ministry?" Another asked how I could know at such a young age what I wanted to do with my life. I pointed upward and said "Dieu". I asked the students why they all felt called to nursing...discovered that this was a class full of tender-hearted, caring people. I would definitely go to Bongolo in case of medical emergency!

From Gabon!!

Later that afternoon, JR and I walked to the high school in the area, which happened to be one of the few C&MA high schools in Gabon. We met the principal and he talked to us a bit about the needs at the school as well as his job and the expectations of him to re-do, re-establish, and re-instate. The buildings are very old and run-down, so he must try to repair them. He is also trying to re-instill C&MA values at the school. Oh, and there are over 200 students preparing to take the national test next year. And they have 3 computers on which to study. A very, very different learning environment. Yet Pastor Clement (the principal) was able to say, "I will do God's work here." What an encouragement to meet people who have such burdens on their shoulders and have such peace in their hearts!

From Gabon!!

On Saturday afternoon about 10 of us went tubing down the Luetse River (which is the main water source for Bongolo). The ride took about 3 hours, and amazingly I was only mildly burned at the end of it! What an experience to be floating down a river through the African jungles! We never did get a clear answer from anyone as to whether crocidiles or hippos could be present in the river, but I do know there were bugs and snakes (although I didn't see a snake, whoo!).

From Gabon!!

We finished our stay by hosting a game night for the missionaries. A big group of us played Scum (so fun, remind me to teach you!). Before that little party, though, a group of guys from the high school came over. They taught us some French praise songs and we taught them some English ones. I admired these young men so much as I watched them sing about their love for God. How many high school boys do you know that would spend their Saturday night with complete strangers, singing praise songs and learning about someone else's culture?

From Gabon!!

So until mid-April when the Lewans move I must say goodbye to the beautiful jungle and hello again to the city...but we have lots of exciting weeks ahead, with beach days, a visiting team from Minnesota, and probably many more adventures! Stay tuned!

Craving a latte,
Olivia

In which Dan makes chocolate-chip cookies

So, as I might have said before, there are many things about my everyday life here in Gabon that I did not expect. For example, completely modern living arrangements, complete with running water (which would ocassionaly shut off at night but is now working properly) and a flat-screen television (which has not been used once the entire time I have been here, btw). We also have ipod docks, so we always have Michael Buble or Karen Carpenter serenading us as we cook our American food. Dinners have included spaghetti, grilled cheese, and meat loaf.

Something else I did not expect was to be living with a master bread baker (in our eyes at least). It just so happens that this master is Dan! He can make beautiful, delicious loaves of bread without even using a bread machine! My mind was officially blown with the first batch. I was extremely excited with the second batch, and now by the third I know that when Dan and Alicia move to Bongolo we will yes, be losing some awesome people, but also will no longer have our supply of heavenly home-made bread!

I think I was most content, though, a few nights ago when Dan came perkily to my bedroom door holding a bottle of milk in one hand and a tupperwear container in the other and cheerfully said, "Milk and chocolate-chip cookies!" And somehow these cookies, made from the recipe on the chip bag, were some of the best I have ever had. Every morning, afternoon, and evening along with our medicines and pills we had our cookies.

So no, as I walked into my new home in Africa I did not expect to see seasons of "The Office" on DVD laying by a television larger than mine at home. Within the first week of being in this new country I was lounging on a sunny beach, sipping Coca Cola and reading a book. This isn't the life of a missionary! I thought to myself. And for many, it is an extravagant life.

How do I find a balance? How do I learn while also finding time to rest? How do I give while I am also receiving so much? One day I sit in the middle of a one-room clinic, watching mice run along the walls. The next day I lounge on a couch watching "Discovery Channel". And yet...somehow I feel at peace with the entire situation. My ultimate purpose not only here in Africa but in my life is to bring glory to God's name. Can I do that by taking the blood pressure of a woman with malaria? Yes. How about my cooking dinner for my team-mates? Of course. Could I even bring glory to God as I sit here and watch "Amazing Grace" (with JR...interesting) and type this? I believe I am. Being a "missionary" isn't just about doing, it's about being. I am completely His, even if I lose sight of that sometimes. But I know that He has my days planned. Walking in the will of our God may not be easy, may not always be fun...possibly might not be safe. But it is a road of certainty--certainty that my works are not futile, my pain is not unnecessary, and that God is good. All the time.