there's no place like "home" :)

bonjour world!!!  did you know that I can speak franglais?

I arrived in Libreville two days ago.  After two long flights (although this time around not nearly as nerve-racking as last year) it felt good to walk on solid Gabonese ground again.  I must admit that feeling the hot humidity and breathing in the polluted air brought me joy, as there is no place I have experienced such an environment except this beloved city.

Words cannot describe the feelings I experienced when I walked out of the double doors from gathering my luggage into the common area at the airport.  All of my OSPAC family, plus Alace and Steve Straw, as well as Leanne and Hannah were all there and bombarded me with hugs.  I was given a HUGE mango as a welcoming gift from the OSPAC team, and we all went out to pizza for dinner!  I wish I could speak French well enough to have told them how much the experience meant to me.

This time around I have had a harder time adjusting to the time difference, but despite being pretty worn out everyday, I am filled with so much joy as I go about life here in Gabon again.

Today I went with Leanne and the OSPAC gang to a village out in the jungle to hand out Operation Christmas Child gifts.  It was awesome being on the other side of the operation and getting to hand the gifts to the children.  It isn't Christmas but they were obviously filled with much cheer as they received the gifts.

Also today we had a team from Simpson College arrive.  They will be here for three weeks, so we look forward to bonding with them!  On Monday we go down to Bongolo for the week, so look for an update sometime in the next two weeks!

wow...a year later?!?!

I cannot convey to you the feelings I am experiencing right now as I think that it was a year ago that I was in Gabon...I had 23 days left in that wonderful country, and I was dreading that the end of my internship was near.  Quite clearly I remember the last day I spent in Libreville...the conversations I had, the tears that were shed, and how everyone said that I was coming back.

Despite the fact that I committed to returning to Gabon even before asking the Lord what His will was, God was gracious and blessed me immensely again by providing for me to return to Gabon this summer!  My visa came back to me uncharacteristically quickly and all of my funds were provided for.  Even this past weekend as I finished up finals and packed up all of my belongings I have seen God's hand in every situation.

When people ask how I feel about going back, I say, "I'm so happy I could throw up!"  I just don't know how to express my excitement.  Think of a time that you were going to see someone that you loved very dearly...or of a time when you were going to eat your favorite meal, or go to your favorite place...I don't even know!  All of those things are going to be happening for me in two days!  And ask much as I hate flying (and this 24 hour trip is brutal) I know that when I land I will be in the hot, humid country I love so much.

I don't know if I will be able to blog while I am there, but I will certainly share thoughts from this trip either from the field or when I get back to the States in June.  After Gabon I will stop in Paris for a week to visit the ENvision site there!  The song I could sing is "God You are so good to me!  La la la la so good to me!!"

Gabon in America!

Six months ago when I left Gabon I felt like a piece of my heart was staying behind in that country. I never imagined that half a year later I would still be able to close my eyes and smell, see, even taste and feel experiences that I had while I was there. This past weekend I stood in church and was able to close my eyes and inhale the familiar scent of my Mama Jeannine (above picture on the left) but this time it was for real! Three of the Gabonese I became very close are here in America for a few weeks and I was so blessed to be able to spend some time with them!

A shout-out to Mark, Amy, Miranda, Sydney, and Amber Anderson--this wonderful family drove up to Nyack from their home in New Jersey, fed me, gave me a bed, even clothed me in some cases. Mark was one of the eleven guys who came on our first time during my stay and it was great to spend time with him and his family, as well as getting to see all of the other guys who came out. (Clarification, the Gabonese came to their church for a weekend conference).

We drove back to New Jersey on Thursday night and on Friday afternoon we were given the task of taking our friends to Walmart! My heart was racing as we walked into the door of the home they were staying in. They were just finishing up a small meeting but we were given permission to interrupt so I walked to the doorway and looked in to see Mama sitting on the couch. She saw me and jumped up, rushing over saying, "Ah, ah, Olivia, Olivia!" And I can say that being back in her hug once again, crying on her shoulder, was one of the best moments of my year. It was like a full circle--the same thing that happened when we parted and now the same thing happening again as we were reunited. Along with her had come her husband, Papa/Pastor Jean-Marc and another pastor, Jacob (reuniting with them was no less joyful).

Over the course of the weekend we took our Walmart shopping trip, attended all three church services, which were a mixture of American and then the few Gabonese elements made even more awesome by the team of guys wearing their shirts they received as gifts in Gabon. On Sunday afternoon we went down with the three Gabonese and some other people to Philadelphia where we handed out a hot meal to homeless people. Mama Jeannine was amazed at all of the people that were there with no homes. She told me that the idea is somewhat foreign to them because in Gabon most people have extended family who will take care of them if need be, so people in Gabon may very well be poorer than homeless people here in America but they are still part of a community and are taken care of.

So anyways, the gist of this post is that I still miss everything about Gabon. I want to go back and I am praying about what God has in store in that area. And again I am amazed at how He blesses me. And He has plans for our futures that we can't imagine. As I left Gabonese soil I didn't imagine that six months later I'd be reunited with some of that family.

thanks, God.

Thanks, God

Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow. (James 1:17)



Enter His gates with thanksgiving; go into His courts with praise. Give thanks to Him and praise His name. (Psalm 100:4)

The other day I was thinking about Gabon (no duh) and I realized something. It's sort of an interesting thought going through my head, because in one sense it doesn't seem legit, and in another sense it is very apparent to me that I have not done something that I need to do. And that is to say "thank you" to God for the incredible gifts He gave me with Gabon.

From the beginning of this experience I was thanking God for everything, so grateful for this opportunity, which had been a dream for so long and was now becoming real. Even as I was there in Gabon I thanked God (especially as I fell in love with it all) for the people I knew, the experiences I had, even the hardships I faced that were opportunities to trust Him.

But since I have been back, I realize now that my (strong) pining to return to Gabon has been consuming my thoughts, often blocking out other emotions or thought processes that I should be having. And, to put it simply, I haven't been approaching any thoughts about Gabon with a thankful attitude. Instead, I want more, I want to go back, I dream about that, instead of really focusing on being grateful for the time He did give me.

And while I have been working on making this right in my heart, I wanted to publicly thank Him for this. Not sure what else to say than...

thanks, God.

And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. (Ephesians 5:20)



So to my family in Gabon (the missionaries, my house-mates, interns, teams, Gabonese friends):

Dear brothers and sisters [in Gabon], [I] can't help but thank God for you, because your faith is flourishing and your love for one another is growing. (2 Thessalonians 1:3)

I always thank my God as I remember you in my prayers... (Philemon 1:4)

Video montage...

Two weeks back!

Wow, I can't believe I've been back for two weeks...it feels like way longer. This afternoon we had my graduation party and I got to see lots of people!! People from my past I haven't seen for ages, people it feels like I just saw...and now begins a summer of catching up with friends before leaving for Nyack on Labor Day Weekend.

One of the struggles of being back has been trying to figure out how to incorporate changes, lessons learned, and experiences from Gabon into my life here in the States. I knew before I returned that I didn't want to be the same person or handle situations like I would have before I left. But when life is the same as when you left it, it's hard to come back and start "leading a new life". God has reminded me again and again, though, that I don't have to figure that all out. He has given me this experience, and He is just as much guiding me here in the USA as He was in Gabon. So I'm not sure what else to do but love Him, love others...I learned a lot about love in Gabon. :)

Speaking of which, even here am still being affected by that love. Leanne encouraged her newsletter readers to read this passage below and I would like to share it with ya'll:

7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. 13 This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. 14 And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. 15 If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. 16 And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. 17 This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. 18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 19 We love because he first loved us. 20 Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. 21 And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister. - 1 John 4:7-21

When people here ask me about the thing that stood out most about my time in Africa, I talk about the love that I received and the community I was a part of. Not only learning to love and being loved by people of another culture (with a different language!) but also the people I lived with in the Envision center...who loved me even though they were not obligated to. Learning that love is not an obligation and that when it comes from Christ...oh what a beautiful thing.

Until my next trip to Gabon (Lord willing!) I will probably only be ocasionally updating this blog with little random bits and pieces...feel free to check out my regular blog for other updates on my life...hopefully as interesting as Gabon!