Thanks, God

Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow. (James 1:17)



Enter His gates with thanksgiving; go into His courts with praise. Give thanks to Him and praise His name. (Psalm 100:4)

The other day I was thinking about Gabon (no duh) and I realized something. It's sort of an interesting thought going through my head, because in one sense it doesn't seem legit, and in another sense it is very apparent to me that I have not done something that I need to do. And that is to say "thank you" to God for the incredible gifts He gave me with Gabon.

From the beginning of this experience I was thanking God for everything, so grateful for this opportunity, which had been a dream for so long and was now becoming real. Even as I was there in Gabon I thanked God (especially as I fell in love with it all) for the people I knew, the experiences I had, even the hardships I faced that were opportunities to trust Him.

But since I have been back, I realize now that my (strong) pining to return to Gabon has been consuming my thoughts, often blocking out other emotions or thought processes that I should be having. And, to put it simply, I haven't been approaching any thoughts about Gabon with a thankful attitude. Instead, I want more, I want to go back, I dream about that, instead of really focusing on being grateful for the time He did give me.

And while I have been working on making this right in my heart, I wanted to publicly thank Him for this. Not sure what else to say than...

thanks, God.

And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. (Ephesians 5:20)



So to my family in Gabon (the missionaries, my house-mates, interns, teams, Gabonese friends):

Dear brothers and sisters [in Gabon], [I] can't help but thank God for you, because your faith is flourishing and your love for one another is growing. (2 Thessalonians 1:3)

I always thank my God as I remember you in my prayers... (Philemon 1:4)

The Development - Part 2

So I realized that I forgot to mention something really important in my last post!! Oh silly me. Around the same time that I was applying through Envision to go to Gabon, my grandma got me in contact with another missions sending organization that takes interns at a medical-type base in Honduras. Pretty much the way that set up works is different medical teams come down to this site to offer clinics for the locals. As an intern, I would be assisting the on-site pharmacist, helping out the teams, and working with the children. About end of October the pharmicist called me to give me all the information and, seeing as I knew nothing about the Africa situation, the Honduras opportunity was sounding very appealling. But after the conversation I didn't know for sure if I was accepted for the internship or not...

So the first week of November was when everything got crazy! It was on either November 1 or 2 that I went to the computer lab at school to print some stuff. While I was there I checked my e-mail and found two e-mails of great importance. One was from B. (the Envision contact). I had asked her what sort of work I would be doing in Gabon and she responded in this way:

"There are various things you will opportunities to involve yourself in Gabon . . . medical ministry, AIDS work, relief projects, attending to people’s physical needs, and anything else that needs to be done or a missionary needs help with."

I think my heart rate increased by twenty beats per minute as I read that. As someone who is considering medical missions for a career, those words held much promise and excitement.

But then I read the next e-mail, which was from the pharmacist in Honduras. She was confirming that I was indeed accepted as the intern if I could come.

Ok, so now I feel the need to state what was going on inside my head as simply as I can (not very easy, considering that my mind was working at 200 mph). Here I was in a situation where I was accepted to go to Honduras and serve with this super awesome lady I had been in contact with. I knew exactly what I would be doing, where I would be staying...every detail I needed to be at peace about it. But then here was this short paragraph from B. telling me that if I was accepted to go to Envision I might be able to do something related to what I want to do with my life!

I'm not going to even try to explain the stress my mind and emotions went through that week. I was pretty much waiting to hear from Envision all week as to 1) whether I was completely accepted to go to Gabon and 2) more detail on what I would be doing. But I knew that I had to give Honduras an answer by the end of the week because they were waiting for me to make a decision. So by the end of the week I was still at a loss as to what to do. Should I just tell Honduras "yes" and scrap waiting on Africa? Should I wait a little longer? What if Africa fell through and Honduras found a different intern?

I just want to pause to give thanks where thanks is due. I know thanks is due first and foremost to God. For like, everything. Without the His miracles and faithfulness none of this would have happened (obviously). Secondly I know that my family really supported me through it all. Well, my parents did that is (more to come on that topic later). They were there to listen to me whenever I had to think through my thoughts.

Oh, there is still so much to write about! But I'll save the money story for later as well as the story of The Decision!