summer 2014 adventure!

I am excited to announce the next adventure that I will be going on!  This summer I have been honored to be invited to work as a research intern with a very credible organization called Love146, which is a non-profit that fights against sex trafficking through research, rehabilitation, restoration, and awareness.  The team I will be working with is located in Phnom Penh, Cambodia.

For several years now, I have been a part of a student group at Nyack College that is an anti-trafficking group.  We host events on campus to raise awareness about trafficking, raise money to donate to local non-profits, and have even gotten to volunteer some at a safe house in the area.  It has been a dream to work with an organization like Love146 that I honestly that would not come true anytime soon.  But God worked some situations out in a way that opened the door for this opportunity.

Although my blogging tendencies may not show it, writing is a gift that I really enjoy.  This internship will bring together many of my passions...research, writing, culture, and working with human rights.  I am not naively believing that the two months I spend in Cambodia will be easy, and truth be told, I am very nervous.  But I am also very excited for this adventure, and am even more glad that because of the wonderful digital age that we live in, anyone who wants to keep up with all my goings-on can do so right here!

So stay tuned!


 If you would like to financially support me for this trip, click here!

Crap white girls say:

"I'm going to travel the world!" 

If I am being completely honest with you, then I'll tell you that I think all the time about travelling the world.  When I met a man on a bus in NYC who told me how average, everyday people can get to Antarctica, I thought God was giving me a sign that my dream to set foot on every continent would come true.

It's easy to fuel a "passion for travel" or "wanderlust" with travel magazines, cozy corners in bookstores with travel books and guides, and, best of all, the lovely "Travel" category on Pinterest.  Quintessential photos of beautiful young women backpacking alone through the streets of Thailand or the Swiss Alps make you think, "That could be me!"

About two weeks ago, I saw with my own eyes one of those quintessential young women.  My family was eating some authentic American food [aka Dominoes Pizza] on a busy street here in Delhi.  This particular strip of the street is "home" to some well-known American chains, so it isn't uncommon to see other "whities" (as I fondly call my fellow race-mates) coming out of Dunkin Donuts or McDonalds.  But when a white woman in her early twenties, blonde as can be, walked in alone, lugging her backpack and a purse with her, I immediately said to my family, "Wow, look at that girl."

Wow, look at that girl.  This is a phrase, folks, that I could use in two ways when referring to a beautiful, blonde, well-dressed white girl who is backpacking by herself through India.  In America, with my naively Pinterest-shaped world-view, I might say, "Wow, look at that girl" with awe and lots of envy as she sets off with a smile on her face and big dreams to conquer the world.  But friends, while I was sitting at that table across from her in the freezing AC of a Dominoes in Delhi, India, I said, "Wow, look at that girl" with lots of hesitation and fear for her.

To clarify, I will say this: Western women (Americans, Europeans)...value the "equality" and respect that you have.  Most of the women in this world are either a) seen as sex objects b) do all the work without receiving any credit for it, and c) not seen as anything at all.  A majority of Indian women believe that it is ok for their husbands to beat them.  I have lived in an African country carried on the backs of women while the men sit around all day drinking alcohol.  And in every non-Western country I have visited, I have experienced what it is like to be seen as a beautiful white body and nothing more.  I knew as I stared at that brave young woman that she was probably realizing just as fast as I had that on the streets of Delhi you will have a lot of eyes staring at you and that the smiles of the men passing you are not "friendly" ones.

I want to pause here to say something very important, though.  I love India!  I love Gabon!  I have thoroughly enjoyed so much about the experiences I have had in these types of cultures, and I still want to visit more!  The things that I have least enjoyed, though, are how men stare at me and call out to me and whistle at me and rub up against me in crowded places.  I don't enjoy walking down the road that was the site of an international-news-making gang rape.  I wish I could tell my sister to just "go explore" this amazing city, yet I haven't told her that because I don't want to chance anything happening to her.

The point I am trying to make is that while I DO believe that people should travel more, and I believe they should travel to places like Delhi or Libreville, and I don't think that anyone should let fear keep them from experiencing other cultures, I have faced the hard realities of travel.  Sometimes you aren't welcomed.  People aren't always as nice as you expect they should be.  And truly, as a young woman, there are some situations where I could be (and have been) in more danger that I had expected.

Why am I writing this post?  I'm thinking that right now...I'm thinking about how my parents or grandparents might read it and get freaked out about me travelling alone as much as I do.  I'm thinking about women who have successfully traveled alone in all sorts of sketchy places and might say, "It worked for me, what's wrong with you?".  I'm thinking about how you might misinterpret everything I've said and think that the dangers of travel have scared me off.  I'm thinking about how bad it would be if I have instilled fear into you to travel more.

But at the same time, these are things I've been thinking about these last few weeks.  I want to share with anyone who reads this that I have discovered that the world can sometimes be a little scarier than you think.  It's awesome and beautiful and interesting and vibrant and the diversity has taught me so much about God...but it not heaven and  bad things can happen.  Dreams are great, and I say, "go for it!", but be safe at the same time.

I have found this article to be really helpful, and I agree with pretty much all of it.   It is so easy to visit cultures that are SO different from our own and almost forget that the people there are people.  When I remember that, I start to have less fear because at the core of us all is humanity.

Anyways, that's what I've been thinking about.  

Namaste from India

I am currently eating an apple that I washed in a foul-smelling chemical wash called "Veg-Fru Wash", dish detergent, and filtered water...and still I run the risk of getting sick from it.  Since I'll only be here for 2 weeks it might be a stupid idea...

Let me give you three words: noisy, hot, and dirty.  This is how a lot of people described India to me when they told me about their experience in this country.  To be sure, walking through muddy streets filled with trash, smelling BO everywhere you go, and having a hard time pulling up your pants because of the sweat covering your body isn't an ideal foreign experience for most people.

Here are another three words: colorful, unique, and spicy.  These are MY three words to describe India.  It is extremely colorful..the clothing, the green trees, the skin tones, the jewelry...  everything is unique, sometimes in bad ways and sometimes in good ways.  Seeing a monkey in the subway station was unique.  Watching dozens of kites flying high in the sky to celebrate Independence Day was unique.  Riding in a rickshaw is VERY unique (and I love it!).  The way that they say my name is unique (pretty much sounds like Olivie-hey).  And spicy..yes, the food can be spicy, but I like to use this word more than "hot".  When I think of "hot", I think of never-ending heat.  But the word "spicy" makes me think of intense periods of heat followed by moments of refreshing coolness and rest.  These literal moments of coolness can be a fresh breeze, a cup of cold water, an air conditioned cafe.  Figuratively, though, there are moments of "coolness" to just the hectic and disconcerting way of life here.  Amongst the dozens of men who stare rudely or whistle, there are those that give up their seat for old women (aka my mom) or bow respectfully at you.  Every so often when passing someone they smile at you in greeting.  Or when the children smile brightly at you and your heart melts...these are the moments that refresh you in this city so large that you start to forget that the figures milling about you are actual humans.

Qutub Minar, part of a complex of ancient mosques, minars, and tombs

Some Hindu-styled pillars located in the mosque...so much culture going on!!

A huge arch with awesome designs...

...me by the arch :)

We've done a little sight-seeing of a complex of an ancient mosque and minars and tombs and such..much of northern India's history during the early to mid-2nd century is of Islamic rulers who took over and set up their kingdoms in one area or another, only to die or be overthrown by another ruler who set up their kingdom somewhere else...all of them building really beautiful and intricate and big buildings.  

There is a lot about Delhi that reminds me of Libreville (in Gabon, Africa).  I think any third-world city will have some similar aspects.  But there are many differences as well.  Delhi is much more influenced by West...I don't know if there is such a thing as a 2nd-world country, but if there was I personally would rank Delhi in it.  I haven't been to a slum (yet..that happens on Monday) and I won't be going to any villages during this trip, so maybe I'm wrong about the country as a whole, which I have no knowledge about. 

7 hours in London!

I wasn't sure if it was a good idea or not to purchase airline tickets to India in a way that gave me a day-long layover in London.  I mean, for someone who has visited a major European city like this before, stopping over for a day makes sense for a relaxing break in between flights.  But for someone who has never been to the city, there was a lot of pressure to see as much as I could!  However, I decided early on that this probably wouldn't be my only chance to see the city, so I took my time during my seven hours and enjoyed what I did.  

My favorite part about traveling by subway into a major city is the first view you have as you walk up to ground level.  It is especially amazing in European cities when you "emerge" into what seems to be another world, what with hundreds of years old buildings surrounding you.  London was every bit as "Londony" as one might expect, as double-decker buses rolled by and people chatted away in their British accents.  

Picaddilly Square..my first view as I came up from the Tube (subway)!

London is quite diverse, just as I had been told it would be.  Actually, there were more "foreigners" working in the shops and restaurants than there were traditional British people.  I felt much more comfortable than I did in Paris because in Paris I was definitely a tourist..everything about me--my clothing, my accent--screamed so..but here it was a little easier to blend.  People don't dress nearly as fashionably as Parisians do, and because there was so much diversity, I didn't stand out so much.  

It took me a while to find, but eventually (after a ride on a double-decker and a stop for some tea) I found Westminster Abbey.  I passed by Big Ben on the way but for some reason I had my mind set on paying the $20 fee (pretty standard to get into anything you want to see in London) to get into the Abbey.  Because Europe is pretty much the only continent in the world with the beautiful cathedrals, I always like to visit them when I am over there.  Westminster was uniquely different from other "cathedrals" or abbeys I have seen before.  It is shaped like a cross with two intersecting "hallways".  The shorter of the two is more open, but the longer one was filled with the tombs of almost every British monarch..including Elizabeth I, Mary Queen of Scots, and some Richards!  There is also a large choir area with a massive organ (much of which is hidden from view) and possibly hundreds of monuments to or graves of distinguished people of the past.  One of the most poignant areas of the abbey was a grave to the "Unknown Soldier" from the 1st World War, honoring all of the fallen unknown British soldiers of that war.  

After finishing in the Abbey I walked over to St James park with lunch from a cafe called Pret a Manger (if you ever travel to London check it out!  they have a few in Heathrow Airport also).  One of the things I love most about big cities are the parks.  No matter where it is (Paris, London, NYC), you will see couples laying in the grass, old people playing board games, children running around or climbing trees, and all sorts of different people walking through.  

Finally I made my way over to look at Buckingham Palace.  The changing of the guard had happened hours before, sadly, but it was still a sight to see!  Interestingly enough there were even a lot of Brits milling around out front, gazing at the palace and such.  British nationalism/loyalty?

Seven hours definitely was NOT enough time in this amazing city!  

India!

Today I saw my family off on the first leg of their journey to India!  In two weeks I'll join them and visit for just under 3 weeks before heading back to school...check back for updates!

I haven't brushed my teeth in 24 hours!!

I really don't like flying...which is so ironic, considering I want to live overseas someday, and I go to school all the way across the country.  It's just such a hassle, especially when trying to keep up with personal hygiene in the airports!

Last night I said my second tearful goodbye to Gabon, although this time it was different...in a way it was harder because as I walked away I didn't have the same resolve in my heart to return in a year like last time. As much as I would love to go back to Gabon again as soon as possible, I know that I need to be open to whatever God wants for my future, not just what I want.

I am thankful that I have been blessed to stop in Paris for ten days before going back to the States.  Ever since I was little I have dreamed of visiting Paris, and as I walked through my dream city today I kept saying, "Wow...wow...this is so beautiful...wow..."  This definitely is one of the coolest cities I have visited!

Being here is a good segway between Gabon and America...I am surrounded by whities again, but because of the more conserved culture, I still don't really make eye contact with people and smile at them.  It's important to be aware of your surroundings just as much here because of pick-pocketing.  Of course, as usual, I am freeeeezing!!!

The family I am staying with, the Roos family, is awesome--they just moved here about six months ago and have been going to language school.  The girls--ages 7 and 10--have picked up a lot of French from their public school, and they already are very good at figuring out transportation on the subways and metro.  If they can do it, so can I!

two decades later...

...and I celebrated my first birthday away from home!  But it was awesome, spent with awesome people, eating awesome food, dancing, singing, relaxing, and lots of laughter (c'est naturel!).

I went in the morning to a church I never visited before (Sortega) with Leanne and Happy (our guy intern).  We got there around 9 and left at 2, but the time was filled with awesome singing, dancing, and a lunch afterwards.  It was the "mama's day" (like Mother's Day) so it was a special service for the women...I am so glad it was on my birthday!

In the afternoon we relaxed and watched some of The Office (I had to include that bit...it was an awesome couple of hours).  Then Leanne and Hannah told me to get dressed and be ready to leave...and the mystery began.  Before we left the house they blindfolded me, then put me in the car and we started driving.  Happy had way too much fun videotaping me while I was blindfolded.  And apparently there were lots (more than usual, at least) of people staring at us as Hannah led me by the hand from the car.

The surprise was revealed as I took off my blindfold and all of my OSPAC family and the Straws were sitting at a table at a new restaurant on the beach!  For the next three hours we ate food, sang, danced, and they gave me kisses and gifts.  It was an awesome night and one of the most memorable birthdays of my life for sure. :)

 Leanne and I on the beach (I am still blindfolded!)

 Mama Clementine giving me a gift

 Arricain and Joseph giving a very exuberant hug!

 Mama Jeanine et moi

Pastor Jacob dancing!

living with a couple of missionary spinsters :)

Hannah and Leanne

A few days ago we parked our car along-side the beach front here in Libreville, ready to spend about an hour walking and just enjoying the ocean breeze and setting sun.  I jumped out and ran barefoot across the sand to the water, eager to feel the African Atlantic for the first time this trip!  I stood in the water and took in the view, letting the waves lap up over my feet, sand giving way under my weight. After a while I turned away from staring out into the ocean, enjoying some alone time of prayer and thinking, and looked up towards the car to see what Hannah and Leanne were up to.  I started laughing at the sight of them sitting in their folding chairs, side by side, Hannah reading a book aloud to Leanne.  It was such a cool moment that I decided I wanted to write a post about them. 

Something Leanne and I have been talking about recently is how difficult it is for people who choose to serve overseas long term to leave their families and loved ones behind (usually in the States).  During this trip I have gained a new-found appreciation for people who make that sacrifice and obey the Lord's call, despite the difficulties.  Both Leanne and Hannah struggle in their own ways with this issue, and after a year of being away from my own family and struggling with it, I admire these two women so much because while I know that I will be hugging my dad, mom, and sister in a month's time, Hannah and Leanne probably won't be seeing theirs until the winter.  

Living with these girls means that there is never a dull moment...literally, because they turn moments that have the potential to be dull into moments full of laughter.  And when we aren't laughing, we are probably having a deep and insightful conversation about God and life in general.  It's so cool living with people who have only known you for a few months, because they noticed quirks and things about you that people you grew up with probably don't take notice of.  I earned the nickname "Cookie Monster" last year when Leanne and Hannah noticed how much I like to eat cookies and sweets...something no one in America takes notice of because you all eat like me!  

Leanne is one of those people that will tell a story without using any names, just "they" and "he" and "she", so if you don't know what she's talking about then you might actually believe that she is telling you that Cirque de Soleil was in our backyard (as opposed to a group of interns doing acrobatics, who she likes to compare to Cirque).  Sometimes she will be talking to you, then she'll get up in the middle of her sentence and walk out of the room to get something.  Or in other instances she might be talking to someone on the phone in French and then change mid-conversation to English to point out to us something random (and when I say random, I mean RANDOM, like, "Oh look guys, there isn't an eraser on this pencil.").  All in all, Leanne is a hilarious woman!  Quirky, funny, and always ready to laugh...but just as ready to listen to you talk about your life and ask you insightful questions.  And when she puts her arm around me and says in a laughing way, "I love you, Olivia!" I feel truly loved.  (And I love how with every team or intern that comes out, she always works into her story the bit about how she used to work for a Sweet Potato Company...so random it's perfect!)

Hannah...never ceases to amaze me.  Her middle name is "Grace", which is so cool because when people describe her, they describe her as "being full of grace" (without even knowing her middle name!).  This girl is young, beautiful, cultured (my word to describe people with excellent fashion, music, and movie taste), and yet she has obeyed the Lord's call to move to Gabon!  She is one of those Intercultural Studies major missionary kids who actually does something with their degree (and calling) that is for the Kingdom and glory of God.  One of the things I love about her is that I could start singing any song from any musical, no matter how old or obscure, and she would be able to guess the movie (and then keep singing the song).  And Hannah is one of those legit people who needs to make a cup of coffee first thing in the morning or her day just doesn't go well.  Oh, and she makes the most amazing food from the most miniscule amount of ingredients.  She's one of those rare breed of people who will actually do loving acts of service for the people she finds most difficult to get along with.  Not only does she have a beautiful face (without make up, everyday, rockin it!) but when I say she has a beautiful heart, I mean it in every sense of the word.  

Anyways, I just wanted to write some of these things in hopes that it encourages my two sisters.  I love you girls.  :)  And for the rest of the world, come to Gabon with ENvision!  Or just read Leanne and Hannah's blogs.  They are truly giving American missionaries a good face in Africa...loving on the Gabonese people here...hosting and mentoring teams and interns...being obedient.  

in my Father's house...

Yesterday I read Luke 2 and a passage that I have read over and over again my entire life stuck out to me in a new way this time.

⁴¹ Every year Jesus’ parents went to Jerusalem for the Festival of the Passover. ⁴² When he was twelve years old, they went up to the festival, according to the custom. ⁴³ After the festival was over, while his parents were returning home, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but they were unaware of it. ⁴⁴ Thinking he was in their company, they traveled on for a day. Then they began looking for him among their relatives and friends. ⁴⁵ When they did not find him, they went back to Jerusalem to look for him. ⁴⁶ After three days they found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. ⁴⁷ Everyone who heard him was amazed at his understanding and his answers. ⁴⁸ When his parents saw him, they were astonished. His mother said to him, “Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you.”

⁴⁹ “Why were you searching for me?” he asked. “Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?” ⁵⁰ But they did not understand what he was saying to them.

⁵¹ Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. But his mother treasured all these things in her heart. ⁵² And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man.

When I first read the highlighted verse, I thought to myself, "Jesus, you should have known that your parents would be worried!  Why did you just 'sneak off' like that??"  Then I realized that Jesus was having his moment of "rebellious independence"!  Even good little homeschooled Christian girls like me have that time in their life where one needs to make a move to branch out from their childhood routine, often times at expense of their worried parents.  

The temple was Jesus's "Father's house".  It was the first place where He seemed to take ownership of His ministry and the plans for His life.  And I wondered to myself, "What is my 'Father's house'?"  It doesn't necessarily have to be a place of moving out of my parents' home...it can be that place (or moment, or circumstance, or choice) where one moves on from what is holding them back in their ministry/purpose/dreams.  

You can't navigate the caves on your own...

Wow, if you knew Leanne you would be as surprised as me that she posted so many posts faster than me!  Click there to see some pics of my time at Samaritan's Purse Christmas present handout!

It's so weird to live a life where I have lots of down time yet I find it so hard to write blog posts because of all the thinking I am doing and all the lessons God is teaching me!  There is so much I wish I could share with the world but I will have to limit it to one thing I want to share most.  Please be prepared for a bit wordy of a story below, as I want to write this out more for my own benefit than anything.  Also, I am going to be entirely honest about my thoughts involved with this experience.

Two weeks ago, Hannah and I went with our (then) newly arrived team from Simpson University to Bongolo Hospital.  One of the coolest things that a few members of the team and I did was go caving in the extensive underground caves below the hospital and village.  It turns out that "caving" was much more than just walking around in some dark caves.  I knew I had gotten myself into something much more involved when we came to the 'entrance' of the caves and our leader told us to crawl on our hands in knees--in the mud--into a two-foot-high opening under the rock.

By the time we reached the first chamber where we could stand up, one of the girls on our team was having a hard time with our situation.  Her panic was obvious in her voice, and she demanded that we pray before we moved on.  Finally, after promising that we would go as slow as she needed, we continued on.

Let me add in a bit of a precursor to this experience by saying that as we went into this adventure, I was expecting of myself to be a leader and supporter of the other members of the group.  I figured that my experience with adventure-esque things [aka growing up in Colorado] would make me one of the stronger explorers on our team.  But as we began to navigate through the caves, I found it difficult to do much to guide the other people from the group because my head lamp was one of the dimmest ones of the group.

After about half an hour of wading through knee-deep pools, climbing up narrow rock chambers, and crawling through mud, we came to a large open chamber.  Brett, our leader (a team leader who grew up in Bongolo as an MK) had us turn off all of our lights.  In the pitch darkness that surrounded us, he gave us the analogy of how our sin is like the darkness that surrounded us, and until someone turned on the "light" (Jesus) that people wander in the darkness all their lives.

Friends, from that moment when he switched on the little flashlight, flooding the room with light, something in my brain clicked.  That simple message (which I have heard numerous times) impacted me like baseball being thrown at my head.  I was struck with the reality that I hold the ability, the power (from Christ) in my hands to turn on that light to people that I know.  And I wondered to myself, "How many times have I held that flashlight in my hands and not turned on the light for someone wandering around in the darkness?"

Everything that happened for the rest of the time was symbolic for me about faith, my walk with Christ, and a Christian's role in the world.  From things as little as who in our group had the brightest light, who brought up the rear, and even changes in attitudes about the experience in different people all had symbolic meaning for me.

Perhaps someday I can share with any of you in person some of the things I learned, as I just don't have the time or words to type up all those lessons.  But that night as I shared about my experience during team debrief, tears ran down my face as I was honest about my realizations about my outlook on my own spiritual walk.  One of the biggest lessons that I learned I will share here.  As I mentioned, I from the group had the dimmest light, which prevented me from being the leader that I thought I would need to be.  Instead, I found myself relying on the other people in the group and the light that they shared to guide my steps.  The literal experience of relying on my teammates for light was humbling because usually I like to get through experiences on my own strength without accepting help from other people.  That experience symbolized to me, though, that in my spiritual walk I am just as dependent on other Christians for support as they are dependent on me.  Since going to Nyack I have seen my need to be more open to honest Christian community, one in which I can and will ask my brothers and sisters in Christ for prayer and for help.  For too long I have been relying on my own (dim) light to find my way through the "dark caves".

You can't navigate the caves on your own.  Ultimately, we need the light of the Christ to guide our steps.  But God gave us the Church (worldwide, multicultural, all creatures of our God and King) to be that light of the world and to "navigate the caves together".

there's no place like "home" :)

bonjour world!!!  did you know that I can speak franglais?

I arrived in Libreville two days ago.  After two long flights (although this time around not nearly as nerve-racking as last year) it felt good to walk on solid Gabonese ground again.  I must admit that feeling the hot humidity and breathing in the polluted air brought me joy, as there is no place I have experienced such an environment except this beloved city.

Words cannot describe the feelings I experienced when I walked out of the double doors from gathering my luggage into the common area at the airport.  All of my OSPAC family, plus Alace and Steve Straw, as well as Leanne and Hannah were all there and bombarded me with hugs.  I was given a HUGE mango as a welcoming gift from the OSPAC team, and we all went out to pizza for dinner!  I wish I could speak French well enough to have told them how much the experience meant to me.

This time around I have had a harder time adjusting to the time difference, but despite being pretty worn out everyday, I am filled with so much joy as I go about life here in Gabon again.

Today I went with Leanne and the OSPAC gang to a village out in the jungle to hand out Operation Christmas Child gifts.  It was awesome being on the other side of the operation and getting to hand the gifts to the children.  It isn't Christmas but they were obviously filled with much cheer as they received the gifts.

Also today we had a team from Simpson College arrive.  They will be here for three weeks, so we look forward to bonding with them!  On Monday we go down to Bongolo for the week, so look for an update sometime in the next two weeks!

wow...a year later?!?!

I cannot convey to you the feelings I am experiencing right now as I think that it was a year ago that I was in Gabon...I had 23 days left in that wonderful country, and I was dreading that the end of my internship was near.  Quite clearly I remember the last day I spent in Libreville...the conversations I had, the tears that were shed, and how everyone said that I was coming back.

Despite the fact that I committed to returning to Gabon even before asking the Lord what His will was, God was gracious and blessed me immensely again by providing for me to return to Gabon this summer!  My visa came back to me uncharacteristically quickly and all of my funds were provided for.  Even this past weekend as I finished up finals and packed up all of my belongings I have seen God's hand in every situation.

When people ask how I feel about going back, I say, "I'm so happy I could throw up!"  I just don't know how to express my excitement.  Think of a time that you were going to see someone that you loved very dearly...or of a time when you were going to eat your favorite meal, or go to your favorite place...I don't even know!  All of those things are going to be happening for me in two days!  And ask much as I hate flying (and this 24 hour trip is brutal) I know that when I land I will be in the hot, humid country I love so much.

I don't know if I will be able to blog while I am there, but I will certainly share thoughts from this trip either from the field or when I get back to the States in June.  After Gabon I will stop in Paris for a week to visit the ENvision site there!  The song I could sing is "God You are so good to me!  La la la la so good to me!!"

Gabon in America!

Six months ago when I left Gabon I felt like a piece of my heart was staying behind in that country. I never imagined that half a year later I would still be able to close my eyes and smell, see, even taste and feel experiences that I had while I was there. This past weekend I stood in church and was able to close my eyes and inhale the familiar scent of my Mama Jeannine (above picture on the left) but this time it was for real! Three of the Gabonese I became very close are here in America for a few weeks and I was so blessed to be able to spend some time with them!

A shout-out to Mark, Amy, Miranda, Sydney, and Amber Anderson--this wonderful family drove up to Nyack from their home in New Jersey, fed me, gave me a bed, even clothed me in some cases. Mark was one of the eleven guys who came on our first time during my stay and it was great to spend time with him and his family, as well as getting to see all of the other guys who came out. (Clarification, the Gabonese came to their church for a weekend conference).

We drove back to New Jersey on Thursday night and on Friday afternoon we were given the task of taking our friends to Walmart! My heart was racing as we walked into the door of the home they were staying in. They were just finishing up a small meeting but we were given permission to interrupt so I walked to the doorway and looked in to see Mama sitting on the couch. She saw me and jumped up, rushing over saying, "Ah, ah, Olivia, Olivia!" And I can say that being back in her hug once again, crying on her shoulder, was one of the best moments of my year. It was like a full circle--the same thing that happened when we parted and now the same thing happening again as we were reunited. Along with her had come her husband, Papa/Pastor Jean-Marc and another pastor, Jacob (reuniting with them was no less joyful).

Over the course of the weekend we took our Walmart shopping trip, attended all three church services, which were a mixture of American and then the few Gabonese elements made even more awesome by the team of guys wearing their shirts they received as gifts in Gabon. On Sunday afternoon we went down with the three Gabonese and some other people to Philadelphia where we handed out a hot meal to homeless people. Mama Jeannine was amazed at all of the people that were there with no homes. She told me that the idea is somewhat foreign to them because in Gabon most people have extended family who will take care of them if need be, so people in Gabon may very well be poorer than homeless people here in America but they are still part of a community and are taken care of.

So anyways, the gist of this post is that I still miss everything about Gabon. I want to go back and I am praying about what God has in store in that area. And again I am amazed at how He blesses me. And He has plans for our futures that we can't imagine. As I left Gabonese soil I didn't imagine that six months later I'd be reunited with some of that family.

thanks, God.

Thanks, God

Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow. (James 1:17)



Enter His gates with thanksgiving; go into His courts with praise. Give thanks to Him and praise His name. (Psalm 100:4)

The other day I was thinking about Gabon (no duh) and I realized something. It's sort of an interesting thought going through my head, because in one sense it doesn't seem legit, and in another sense it is very apparent to me that I have not done something that I need to do. And that is to say "thank you" to God for the incredible gifts He gave me with Gabon.

From the beginning of this experience I was thanking God for everything, so grateful for this opportunity, which had been a dream for so long and was now becoming real. Even as I was there in Gabon I thanked God (especially as I fell in love with it all) for the people I knew, the experiences I had, even the hardships I faced that were opportunities to trust Him.

But since I have been back, I realize now that my (strong) pining to return to Gabon has been consuming my thoughts, often blocking out other emotions or thought processes that I should be having. And, to put it simply, I haven't been approaching any thoughts about Gabon with a thankful attitude. Instead, I want more, I want to go back, I dream about that, instead of really focusing on being grateful for the time He did give me.

And while I have been working on making this right in my heart, I wanted to publicly thank Him for this. Not sure what else to say than...

thanks, God.

And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. (Ephesians 5:20)



So to my family in Gabon (the missionaries, my house-mates, interns, teams, Gabonese friends):

Dear brothers and sisters [in Gabon], [I] can't help but thank God for you, because your faith is flourishing and your love for one another is growing. (2 Thessalonians 1:3)

I always thank my God as I remember you in my prayers... (Philemon 1:4)

Video montage...

Two weeks back!

Wow, I can't believe I've been back for two weeks...it feels like way longer. This afternoon we had my graduation party and I got to see lots of people!! People from my past I haven't seen for ages, people it feels like I just saw...and now begins a summer of catching up with friends before leaving for Nyack on Labor Day Weekend.

One of the struggles of being back has been trying to figure out how to incorporate changes, lessons learned, and experiences from Gabon into my life here in the States. I knew before I returned that I didn't want to be the same person or handle situations like I would have before I left. But when life is the same as when you left it, it's hard to come back and start "leading a new life". God has reminded me again and again, though, that I don't have to figure that all out. He has given me this experience, and He is just as much guiding me here in the USA as He was in Gabon. So I'm not sure what else to do but love Him, love others...I learned a lot about love in Gabon. :)

Speaking of which, even here am still being affected by that love. Leanne encouraged her newsletter readers to read this passage below and I would like to share it with ya'll:

7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. 13 This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. 14 And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. 15 If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. 16 And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. 17 This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. 18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 19 We love because he first loved us. 20 Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. 21 And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister. - 1 John 4:7-21

When people here ask me about the thing that stood out most about my time in Africa, I talk about the love that I received and the community I was a part of. Not only learning to love and being loved by people of another culture (with a different language!) but also the people I lived with in the Envision center...who loved me even though they were not obligated to. Learning that love is not an obligation and that when it comes from Christ...oh what a beautiful thing.

Until my next trip to Gabon (Lord willing!) I will probably only be ocasionally updating this blog with little random bits and pieces...feel free to check out my regular blog for other updates on my life...hopefully as interesting as Gabon!

Videos!

Starting to upload videos from Africa! Check it out!

Bonjour -- Stateside!

I AM FREEZING!!!

Not kidding. I have been wearing pants, socks, long-sleeves, and sweaters since being back in Colorado, not to mention my winter coat and gloves when I go outside. A few times I've been tempted to turn up the heat...or just get a room heater for my room. Last night I turned on the humidifier, it's just so dry!

So I got back to the States safe and sound on Monday night. My flights were fairly uneventful...on the flight from Chicago to Co Springs there was some seating confusion and there was a German couple sitting in my row, the wife in my seat. I tried asking her where her seat was but she spoke no English, so then I started to speak French to her without even thinking about it!

So I was walking through the Chicago airport and as I passed this one lady, she looked at me and smiled! You know what I did? A little jig. Hooplah! So then I decided to see how many people I could get to smile at me if I smiled at them (don't worry, I chose my victims with wisdom). I love that Americans will smile back, but unlike the Africans, their eyes only hold yours until it's "uncomfortable". Then they look away.

I am planning on writing more later about how I've been digesting being back...I don't really want to try and dig through it all on my second day. I do just want to say that I am so glad to be spending time with my family here! Well, at least with my parents (my sister disappeared the day after I got back...oh the fun social lives of high schoolers!). Got to see a few friends, but it's been nice having a few days to just chill. Graduation parties are coming up, dance, lots of fun things...but first let me recover from jet lag!

Leanne, Hannah...I miss you guys like crazy. So thankful for the "conversation" we had my last morning. Dan and Alicia, have a wonderful time Stateside! Hope your first team experience was AWESOME and LEGIT! Fellowship Alliance Chapel team, I still talk about you all, even to my family here! Very excited to visit your church this year. Other interns (Shannon, Robert, Reinette), my experience wouldn't have been the same without ya'll. I love love love meeting other young people with a heart for the world and service. Alace and Steve, you and your family are such an encouragement! It was such a privilege to get to know a family like you who is obeying God even when it isn't easy. (not going to lie, I am praying you guys come to the States Joey's senior year!).

To all my readers, family, friends--ya'll rock! It has been such a blessing to have people who are interested enough to read about my experiences. Your comments, e-mails, and even just the readership stats have been so heart-warming. And if reading my or other blogs has made you interested in Gabon, either giving or serving, please don't hesitate to further inquire about what you can do! E-mail me at freaky.tea.sipper@gmail.com and I will point you in the right direction.

Below are some pictures from my last week or two. Uploading stuff is SO my faster here in America so I will be sharing more stuff over the weeks to come. A youtube channel with videos is on its way!


Some of the wonderful boys at Hope House


Chouchou, baby Anne, et moi! (chouchou is the daughter of our house-cleaning neighbor, Mama Justine)


Jill (a visiting nurse--she's getting married in July, yay!), me, and Sam Straw playing our last game of Settlers of Catan. If you come to Libreville, you can expect Sam or me (if I'm there) to ask if you like this game!! And if you do, be prepared to pull late-night Settlers stints! Mwuahaha...


Front row: Jill, Alace, me, Hannah, Leanne Back row: Sam, Jean-Romain, Eric Bill, Steve


My wonderful sisters Leanne and Hannah

Caravan, Craisins, and Cookies (in no particular order)

Why did I have to come all the way to Africa to discover how delicious Craisins are?? Definitely buying a bag when I get back to the States!

Cookies: Super 2's. Pumpkin chocolate chip. Bananookies. I have been nicknamed The Cookie Monster as I most definitely eat more cookies than I should, something hard to hide from my house mates.

These past two days I had a wonderful experience with the OSPAC gang--a medical caravan! Ok, double bonus: an overnight medical caravan. And let me tell you, this was hardcore jungle caravaning. Sliding around on a muddy road, attempting to show the Jesus Film, giving testimonies by flash light, bathing in a jungle creek...oh, and you could play connect-the-dots with the bafoodoo bites on my arms and legs.

We began the adventure bright and early Thursday morning. It was about a 4-hour drive to the village where we set up our first clinic. When we arrived there were about 30 people gathered under a tree outside of the little wooden church. After some prayer and presentation we set up the consultations and pharmacy on top of our big tupper-wear containers. It took about 2 or 3 hours to finish consulting all the people who had been waiting. From there we drove on for another hour to a house where we were to stay the night.



The rest of the day was spent jungle-bathing (seriously, went with the Mamas to a natural creek where they proceeded to bathe, I just kinda waded), eating yummy Gabonese food, then going back to the village where we had done consultations. By the light of flashlights we set up a projector to show the Jesus Film, but due to rain and bizarre "technical" (we are in Africa, remember) were not able to show it. So Jill (a visiting nurse) gave her testimony and Mama Jeanine made her and me sing a song. I apologized before we proceeded to sing through the Doxology as quickly as possible (neither of us are singers).

When we got back to the house, Jill and I proceeded to kill a huge spider in our bedroom. Then we went out to use the out-house, but apparently not informing Mama Jeanine that we were doing so was a mistake. There I was on the pot in the dark, rain pounding on the tin roof, when I hear this wailing, "OLIVIAAAA!!!!! OLIVIA!!!" Oh gosh, I thought, there's the search and rescue party. We had been gone all of four minutes...as Jill said, "I'm glad we can't be gone five minutes without someone noticing." Needless to say, in the middle of the jungle on a dark, stormy night everyone is safe with the Mama search and rescue party!



Today we spent the morning doing consultations at the house. A man from Nigeria came in who spoke more English than French...it was weird speaking English to him! Around noon we packed up the cars and proceeded on our long trip back...with a mixture of muddy roads, stops to buy plantane bananas, and a bad traffic jam we got back to Libreville around th dinner hour. And now, although I should be packing, Leanne and I are watching our movie--"Breakfast at Tiffany's"! Tomorrow and Sunday are packed full, so I am not anticipating getting on the computer until I am State-side again.

Although there will be many tears on Sunday night, I'm sure that this isn't the end of the journey. I have a wonderful family here, as well as a wonderful family in Colorado who I am excited to share my stories with. The Lord has shown again and again that He has plans for me in the USA...I'm waiting to see how the summer unfolds. Mostly just engaging in communion with Him, community with others, sharing and hearing stories...

Love love love to you all,
Olivia